Monday, 29 September 2008

Season 2-Chapter 5:"Peter's uncle"

Hi everybody! Here I am, with a new chapter of the story I'm writing. In the last chapter, Peter told Claire that his father had been a murderer and that he had killed Kate. Peter didn't know his father was a murderer, so Claire believed him. But then, Ricky, who's Peter's uncle, phones Peter. Then, they entered Claire's house. Now...chapter 5!

Claire and Peter had already entered to the house.
-"Sit down and I'll bring ice cream. It's OK for you?"-asked Claire.
-"Sure"-answered Peter.
Peter was waiting for Claire in the living-room and Claire went to the kitchen.
-"Hi mum!"
-"Hi dear. How was school? Any news?"-asked Claire's mum.
-"Look: while Peter and I were walking, Peter's uncle phoned him. His name was Ricky"-told Claire.
-"So what?"-answered her mum.
-"Don't you see it? Ricky could take revenge on us! Because of me, Peter's father died"-told Claire.
-"Well, we'll discuss it later. Go with your boyfriend, he's waiting for you. Go."-said Claire's mum.
Claire smiled.
-" I come with the most delicious ice cream ever. Home-made!"said Claire.
-"Mmm...thanks Claire"-said Peter and kissed his girlfriend.
-"At what time are you leaving? Because your uncle phoned you, and..."said Claire.
-"Don't worry. Is not something important. I nearly never see my uncle, so I don't know him so much. But, well...he's my uncle after all."told Peter.
Peter knew Claire was worried. So he asked her:
-"What's wrong?"
Claire looked at him. Then, she said:
-"Your uncle, he worries me. Your father was a murderer and...what if he is one and wants to take revenge on me? Because of me, your father died. I mean, I was just defending myself. He wanted to kill me!".
Peter didn't answer. He was thinking.
-"Look, he isn't like that. He's good guy. I know: we can all have dinner together tonight so you can meet him. Agree?"-said Peter.
-"Ok. Great."said Claire.

What will happen when at the dinner? Hope you liked the chapter. Stay tuned because new chapters will come!


Nadine said...

Hiya Steph
Thanks for the wonderful comment, and I rate your blog 150%!
Lovely... I am so scared, I hope all will go alright with Claire, and I wonder if Ricky is really a murderer after all.
Keep me tuned, I cannot wait for the next chapter!!! I'm biting my fingernails...
Kisses, Miss you, Nadine

Zawan said...

hi, I loved the dialogue, and i know it's not easy coming up with a story that makes readers want to read the next chapter
very good story
but some advice: why don't you use more adjectives to describe things to make it more interesting
very good story though...

Meghna said...

Hi stephie....Loved this [part and I'd agree with zawan's advice....just give it a try to make the story more interesting...eagerly waiting for the next part!